In reality you aren’t what you do, You do what you are.
The saying is backwards.
When it comes to people; the way I tread people, states who I am and the way other people treat me, is not a reflection on me, but it states who they are.
If you are in any relationship where you are being devalued by another person, it doesn’t mean that your value isn’t high, it just means that the other person is not capable of seeing it.
So never stay in a relationship like that. Never try to understand, or try to fix it, because it is not on you to fix it. Furthermore you cannot fix it. You cannot fix another persons behavior. They would need to do that themselves.
We so often want to know why a person did this or that to us.
How could they? Why did he treat me like that? Why did she do that to me?
But it really doesn’t matter why people do what they do.
It only matters what they do.
The reason why will not change the action! This is how this person is treating you. And I promise you, if they didnt find it okay to do, they wouldn’t do it.
Therefore, instead of staying in a relationship where you are being devalued, where you are trying to understand the why and change the person, hope they will value you, hope the treatment will change, do rather leave and find people who value you from the beginning, who can see you as you are.
Not see you through their distorted view
The Why you do not have to try to understand. If you constantly need to know the why of a persons action, it is only because you do not agree with the action.
And do you know what? Is good to not understand. That means that you, in your value system, do not have the need to mistreat another.
Be happy that you do not understand!
Do always have a high bar for both how people treat you and to how you treat other people.
People can say whatever, but it is in their actions that you will see who they are.
Always go by the actions.